What to Expect in an EMDR Session
If you have been curious about EMDR therapy but are not sure what actually happens in a session, this guide is for you. EMDR can feel mysterious from the outside, and a lot of what people think they know about it comes from misconceptions or incomplete information. This post walks you through a typical EMDR session from start to finish so you know exactly what to expect.
The Early Phases of EMDR
The first phase of EMDR is history taking. In our early sessions we spend time getting to know each other, understanding what has brought you to therapy, and identifying the experiences and patterns that will become targets for processing. This gives us a map of where we are going before we begin building the resources to get there.
Resourcing is the next foundational step. It is a core part of the EMDR protocol and one of the most important things we do together. It gives you internal tools to draw on when processing gets difficult. The two most essential resources are the calm place and the container.
The calm place is an image or memory of somewhere you feel at ease. It does not have to be a real place. The goal is to practice accessing a felt sense of calm in your body so you can return to it during and after processing if needed. You may notice that I use the term calm place rather than safe place. This is intentional. For some people the word safe does not resonate or does not feel accessible, and calm is often more accurate to what we are building toward.
The container is an imagined space where you can place difficult thoughts, images, or feelings between sessions. Think of it as a way to consciously set something aside rather than letting it run in the background of your life. The container does not make things disappear. It gives you a way to manage what comes up so you are not overwhelmed between sessions.
Developing resource figures is also part of the protocol when appropriate. These include identifying protectors, nurturers, and a wisdom figure. These can be real people, imagined figures, spiritual figures, or even animals. The goal is to build an internal support system you can call on during processing.
It is worth noting that not every resource works for every person. Some people struggle with visualization. Some do not connect with certain images or figures. That is completely normal and does not mean EMDR will not work for you. We work together to find what actually resonates for you specifically, and there are always alternatives.
Resourcing sometimes takes multiple sessions before we move into processing. This is the foundation that makes processing possible and sustainable.
Setting Up Your Target
Once resourcing is established, we identify what we will work on. In EMDR this is called a target.
Targets are ideally worked on in order, starting with earlier experiences first. Think of it like a plant. To address what is happening at the surface, we often need to start at the roots. Earlier experiences frequently underlie current symptoms, and processing them first tends to make later work more effective.
For each target we identify several things:
The negative cognition: a belief about yourself connected to the experience. Something like "I am not safe" or "I am not good enough."
The positive cognition: what you would rather believe about yourself instead of the negative cognition. Something like "I am okay now" or "I did the best I could."
The VOC, or validity of cognition: how true the positive belief feels on a scale of 1 to 7.
Emotions: what feelings come up when you bring the target to mind?
Body scan: where you notice activation in your body. This can be tension, heaviness, tightness, a racing heart among other things.
SUDS, or subjective units of distress: how distressing the target feels on a scale of 0 to 10. 0 means no distress at all.10 means the most distress you can imagine.
This may seem like a lot, but it is important that we get a baseline to measure progress. The SUDs and VOC will be assessed throughout the session to see if things are shifting.
How Processing Works
This is where EMDR looks different from traditional talk therapy.
During processing, there is minimal talking. This is intentional. Talking too much during bilateral stimulation can interrupt the brain and body's natural processing. The goal is to allow the experience to move through your nervous system rather than analyze it verbally.
Bilateral stimulation is used to support processing. Bilateral stimulation means alternating left-right input to the brain, and research suggests this mimics what happens during REM sleep when the brain naturally processes experiences. For online sessions I use a screen-based tool that moves a visual target back and forth across the screen. Eye movements are considered the gold standard for processing and tend to be more precise and effective than self-tapping, which is why I prefer to use a screen-based tool rather than having clients tap on their own. This also allows me to control the speed and duration, which matters for effective processing.
For online sessions you will need to use a laptop or larger screen. A phone screen is too small to use effectively.
I check in with you approximately every thirty seconds during processing to see what you are noticing. You might notice images, thoughts, emotions, body sensations, or nothing at all. Whatever comes up is information. If things feel stuck, we can adjust the approach. Otherwise we continue and let the processing unfold.
As processing continues and the SUDS rating decreases, we move into the installation phase. This is where we use bilateral stimulation to strengthen the belief you would rather hold about yourself until it feels genuinely true in your body. The VOC score helps us track this. After installation we do a body scan to check for any remaining physical tension before moving to closure. A target is not considered complete until the SUDS is at 0, the positive cognition feels true, and the body scan is clear.
The Window of Tolerance
One of the most important concepts in EMDR is the window of tolerance. This refers to a zone of activation where your nervous system is engaged enough to process but not so overwhelmed that it shuts down or goes into crisis mode.
Think of it as a Goldilocks zone. Too little activation can mean feeling numb, disconnected, or checked out, and processing does not move. Too much activation can look like panic, dissociation, or feeling flooded, and the brain cannot integrate what is happening.
Effective EMDR happens inside the window. This is why resourcing matters so much. If activation goes too high, we have tools ready to bring you back into the window. If you are too shut down, we can work to gently increase engagement.
Why Things May Feel More Intense Before They Ease
This is one of the most important things to understand about EMDR, and one of the things that surprises people most.
EMDR involves processing experiences that may have been suppressed or avoided for a long time. When you begin to access those experiences, it is common for activation to increase before it decreases. Old emotions, images, or physical sensations may surface. This is not a sign that something is going wrong. It is often a sign that processing is working.
Think of it a little like exposure therapy. The discomfort of approaching something difficult is part of how the nervous system learns that it can tolerate the experience. The difference between being activated during processing and being outside your window of tolerance is important. Feeling uncomfortable, emotional, or even tearful during processing is normal and expected. That activation will decrease as processing continues.
What we are always watching for is whether activation becomes unmanageable. That is different from the discomfort of productive processing, and if that happens we slow down, return to resources, and adjust.
After Your Session
EMDR sessions can be exhausting. Processing difficult experiences takes real energy, and it is normal to feel tired, emotionally tender, or a little spacey afterward.
Here is what I recommend after an EMDR session:
Give yourself time to decompress. Avoid scheduling anything demanding immediately after your session if you can. Rest, take a bath, watch something calm, or simply give yourself permission to do nothing for a while.
Keep a journal nearby. Processing sometimes continues after the session ends and new insights, images, or emotions may surface in the hours or days that follow. Writing these down can be helpful to bring to our next session.
Use your container. If difficult material comes up between sessions, practice placing it in your container rather than trying to process it on your own. Processing outside of sessions is not recommended. The controlled environment of a session, with a trained therapist monitoring your activation level, is where processing should happen.
It is also common to feel more activated than usual in the days following a session. Your nervous system is still integrating what was processed. This is normal and temporary. It is not a sign that something went wrong. Your resources are there for exactly this.
How Many Sessions Does EMDR Take?
This is one of the most common questions people ask, and the honest answer is that it depends.
For a single distressing event, EMDR can sometimes bring significant relief in just a few sessions. The target is more contained and the processing tends to move more quickly.
For complex trauma, experiences that built up over years of repeated stress or early childhood experiences may take longer. There are more roots and targets to address and process. There may be relief quickly or it may take some time for your nervous system to adjust.
There is no universal timeline. We move at a pace that is right for your nervous system, not a predetermined schedule.
Common Misconceptions About EMDR
You do not have to talk about everything that happened. EMDR works with how your brain and body store experiences, not with verbal retelling. You can process something without describing it in detail. Many clients find this to be one of the most relieving things about EMDR, you do not have to find the right words or relive everything out loud for the work to be effective.
EMDR is not just for PTSD or big trauma. EMDR was originally developed for trauma but it is effective for a much wider range of experiences including anxiety, panic, burnout, self-doubt, and emotional reactivity. You do not have to have experienced a major traumatic event for EMDR to help. Accumulated stress, chronic pressure, and longstanding patterns of thinking and feeling can all be targets for EMDR processing. It is worth noting that EMDR is not indicated for every condition, your therapist can help you determine whether it is the right fit for what you are working through.
EMDR can use more than just eye movements. While eye movements are considered the gold standard for bilateral stimulation, tapping and audio bilateral stimulation are also used, particularly in online sessions. What matters is the bilateral, alternating input to the brain, not the specific method used to deliver it.
Not all EMDR training looks the same. EMDR has a specific, evidence-based protocol developed and maintained by EMDRIA. When practiced correctly, it follows a structured process that includes resourcing, target identification, processing, and closure. It is worth seeking out a therapist who completed an EMDRIA approved training program to ensure the protocol is being followed accurately.
Some therapists go on to pursue EMDRIA certification, which requires additional supervised consultation hours, continuing education, and demonstrated experience beyond the initial training. Certification is a way of showing that a therapist has not only learned EMDR but has put in the clinical hours to develop real competence with it.
Ready to Start EMDR Therapy?
If you have been considering EMDR and this post answered some of your questions, I would love to hear from you. I am an EMDRIA certified therapist offering online EMDR therapy across Texas, and I follow the evidence-based protocol in every session.
You can learn more about EMDR therapy or reach out here to get started.
